Are you tired of your teachers shamelessly forcing their opinions on you and your classmates? Annoyed by bank tellers treating you as mere clients instead of humans? Frustrated from not winning over public transportation brawls versus everyday assholes?
As a part of the youth destined to replace their generation, I am pleased to inform you that…
There is nothing you can do about it!
Throughout the years I have hated people to a point that I would rather have the world end than continue living with piles of crap in human form. I have lost all hope. I found no point in dealing with shit when I was convinced that everything was FUBAR.
But I forgot one very important factor.
First of all, I’d like to congratulate myself for actually being able to update a “series” I started a long time ago with this post. Though a major breakthrough (for me at the very least), I still have no plans on continually adding content to this series because I have commitment issues, I guess. Or was that her? I’m not sure.
Pre-sleep thoughts is still what it is after a very long time, though. This is, and I quote myself “me blogging late at night about some random topic my mind brought up 3.2 FUCKING SECONDS BEFORE FALLING ASLEEP.”
These past few nights my mind has been repeatedly bombarded with thoughts concerning myself: Inner struggles, conflicting ideals, my fluctuating self-esteem and worth, purpose in life, and long-term goals. Thoughts often supplemented with brutal visions of assholes and self-centered people that I sooo badly want dead.
These thoughts, however, I can’t seem to write about anymore.
For some reason, I’ve been having difficulty writing things about myself. Is there a problem with my first person point-of-view writing? Am I just completely unable to concretize things concerning myself that are floating around my head? Or do I not understand myself enough to be able to explain?
To add to that, I can’t refer to my life in posts as “my life” because to me it sound ridiculous, awkward, and corny.
Did I really need to write about myself in the first place? Was my brain just reminding me to stray away from being agnostic towards things and start taking stands? Is there something I needed to start doing to change my life and then be able to answer the questions I have always been asking?
I don’t bloody know. For now.
My previous idea wasn’t implemented because of time constraints as COMELEC had barely a month since considering my plan. With this came a series of disasters, with the most prominent being Nancy Binay getting a senatorial seat. The fact that my idea didn’t come in time puts her existential mistake on my hands.
And so, I came up with something way ahead of time: a new plan for the 2016 nationwide presidential elections and for the subsequent elections if this works flawlessly, which isn’t something to be worried about because it is awesome. Did you read the title? It says “awesome election idea” and not a single “meh” or “lame” is in it.
This new election idea is basically rooted on one thing: Pinoy Big Brother. Seeings as how the show’s success can be greatly attributed to the fact that most Filipinos would would get out of their way to watch people act like complete conformists on national TV, I thought: “Why not turn politicians into housemates?”.
A voice inside me then said “Holy shit.” – my subconscious mind reaffirming me of my rightness.
In theory this would accomplish a couple of things in one awesome and fun run. Benefits compared to the boring, old way include:
- Free publicity – With all candidates getting free air time on TV, huge-ass amounts of money would be saved by not spending for personal campaign adverts. Mother Nature is also happy here – less physical media means less pollution (unless of course one candidate doesn’t care about everybody else just to get ahead of the others, which is a huge possibility considering the nature of people)
- Air time for debates – By forcing the masses to watch Pinoy Big Brother: Politics Edition, a substantial amount of regular voters would be turned into informed voters since the housemates are bound to argue with each other at some point – leading to debates. This way less people would be committing atrocities, like actually voting for Nancy Binay.
- Personality exposure – Skill and personality should go hand in hand. By showing people how political candidates interact with each other on national TV, people would be aware of each’s personalities and would be able to make judgments whether a person is terrible or not. If you don’t think this is important, think of all the poor souls who voted for Nancy Binay.
- A lot more! (because I don’t know anything about politics except the rampant bullshit)
If you’re still not convinced, think of the future. Do you really want someone like Nancy Binay be in charge of important things in our beloved country? Do you want all of us to continue going down in a downward spiral?
If it meant me being bestowed upon with supernatural skills like burning the souls of those who don’t deserve to live a la Ghost Rider, I would go as far as making a deal with the devil. My soul’s destiny would forever be locked to hell, and for as long as I live, my only purpose of physical existence would be to hunt down people who only think of themselves and end them. I would see things before they happen. I would be there to prevent them. Every minute of every day would be devoted to internal rage, and flesh-ripping terrible people would be my primary emotional output.
For the good of all mankind I will sacrifice my entirety into eternal torment. I shall hear every scream of every soul as they descend to the fires of hell.
Because seriously, I’m tired of being helpless. I’m tired of sitting idle while people tell me of tragedies people go through from the cancers of society. I’m tired of being fueled with hate and anger. And the most that I could do is write about it.
A good neighbor of ours, an elderly woman in her late 80s, lost 100,000 Philippine Pesos. How she lost it I found hard to believe. On local news it has been said that a group of people put her into a trance through hypnosis, took her out somewhere, and made her “just give” the money. It is also worth noting that I’m pretty sure she’s not mentally ill.
I sat really still while my inner devil screams that I let it out.
I could not do a thing.
Satan, if you’re listening, you know what to do.
It has always been you.
For the longest time that I have kept myself at a distance trying to forget everything from nearly 5 years ago, I kept lying to myself that I got over you. That I don’t need you. That the universe let us both cross our paths for no discernible reason. That all of the things including my most regretted mistakes were all random and serve no purpose whatsoever in my life.
I honestly don’t know what to believe anymore.
Things happen for a reason? Maybe. But I call bullshit.
This is another “series” that I have no plan updating anytime in the near future: Pre-sleep thoughts. Basically this is me blogging late at night about some random topic my mind brought up 3.2 FUCKING SECONDS BEFORE FALLING ASLEEP.
Imagine a world where base 10 isn’t the standard. Throw the decimal number system away. Think of the base as some other random number – like 7, perhaps. We would all be counting up to only 6, e.g.
0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 20, … and so forth.
Personally, I couldn’t imagine a parallel universe with the number system being base 7. Or anything that isn’t base 10, really. Or base 2 (binary), 8 (octal), and 16 (hexadecimal) for computer science stuff.
Anyhow, why? Why base 10? Who decided that there would only be 10 unique numbers (0-9)? What if we knew/learned something else? What if humans or other mammals evolved to have 13 fingers? Should we be counting to 13, then? Is this because we had 10 fingers to begin with so we just stuck with that? Or is it something much more complicated like our genetic code telling us that base 10 is the shit? Or is there really a superior being out there (I am NOT an atheist, just to be clear) that decided we should base our numerical system to 10?
Would I know the answers to these questions if I traveled back to prehistoric times?
Or should I just go to sleep?
I’d go with the latter for now.