Our Very Existence

Random. And incoherent.

The church is not a god damn bank!

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These past few weeks I haven’t been able to go to church. No big deal, because I don’t really like attending masses anyway. Whenever I get woken up to prepare and “celebrate”, I just do that one primal thing we’re biologically programmed to do when we are still sleepy and forced to wake up: go the fuck back to sleep.

Because of that I haven’t been able to attend mass for quite a while, including this day.

I know that sleep is something that can be easily conquered when you have the initiative to pull yourself together and do things you’re supposed to do. Unfortunately for church-going, I don’t have that said initiative.

So what happened?

Considering the fact that I live with extremely religious grandparents, I got a mini-sermon saying: “What you deposit is what you get. I’m not forcing you to go to church”. (It’s something like that. I just translated it)

Holy shit.

I. Am. Not. Going. To. Church. Because. I. Expect. Heaven.

No, really, I do not give a shit.

Every week for the past 19 years of my life I have been forced to stay awake in a building with a community listening to some sermon I/we probably do not need to listen to. The homilies say only one thing in general: “Do not do unto others what you do not want others to do unto you”.

How hard is that to understand? How hard is it, really, to not be an asshole to your brothers and sisters? How hard is it to not only think of yourself in a world full of people in need? Do we really need specific examples for each and every scenario we might come across? Is it really that hard to apply the virtue of not only thinking of yourself  to every hurdle in our lives that we have to go over?

Here is that one and only commandment that I follow in life:

Be not an asshole

Simple, right? Of course, this won’t cover the believing in God part (I do believe in God. Religion is just pure and absolute bullshit), but the other stuff that it does cover are here:

  • Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.
    Not being an asshole means honoring your father and mother. You owe them your life.
  • You shall not murder.
    Have you killed anyone? To be honest I have killed thousands of people, but only in my mind. I am aware that my actions can affect other people, not just the one I plan on murdering.
  • You shall not commit adultery.
    OK. Most of us will admit to committing adultery to some extent. Here’s one question for you: Did you hurt anybody? If yes, then you are an asshole. If not, it’s just nature doing its thing. As long as you keep it to yourself, you’re fine.
  • You shall not steal.
    Then again, if you actually care about your actions and how it could affect other people, you wouldn’t steal, therefore making you a non-asshole, one of the rarest kinds of humans to ever walk the Earth.
  • You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
    This is a variation of the “only thinking of yourself” thing. If there is something to gain, it’s only for a short period of time. Until then, conscience will kill you. Hopefully, physically.
  • You shall not covet your neighbor’s house.
    Ah god damn it. You get my point. I wrote it many times already.

My point? Let me put it in question form, then you tell me.

What the fuck am I depositing when I go to church? Will It guarantee me heaven? Can you prove that heaven exists? Does it really FUCKING matter?

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Written by kpbotbot

August 5, 2012 at 3:14 am

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